15 March 2014

Am I a proper Wargamer ? and are you ?

This one seems to be doing the rounds and as I am taking some time out and relaxing I thought I would give it a go.

*Spent at least £500 on figures / tanks – and you get extra kudos for every £500 you’ve spent

Only £500.00 quid are you having a laugh of course and some

* Pricked your finger or thumb on a pike block – several times

Yes, many times I just love the fools that also sharpen the tips to extract extra blood

* Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them ever again

I've tried more than 10 rule sets and own way more than I will ever play. I vowed to never play most of them again recently

* Bought an army off EBay


* Sold an army on EBay


* Spent months painting an army – then used it in anger once

Nope, I normally use them at least twice, though I did paint two factions for Empire of the dead hated the game and sold them straight after the couple of games.

* Tried several different periods and genres

Hell yes! Isn't that the whole point of the hobby?

* Dropped a box of figures on the floor from a great height

Yes, and it was not a pretty site, I filled the Great Hall with plenty of blue air that day

* Lost a battle on the last throw of the dice

Yes, a few times and have won some that way as well 

* Made at least one enemy for life

Life is too short for enemies. However I have met some right twats that I wont play with again and some that should find an alternative hobby.

* Had a proper, stand up argument over a wargamers table

Sorry to say yes to this one on two occasions now in my life.

* Thrown a dice across a room

No. though I have been tempted

* Rebased an army for a different rule set


* Inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponent

Yes, a couple of times. 

* Suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision

Oh sweet Jesus have I. 

* Joined a wargamers club

Several! though I prefer our small group

* Bought a ton of lead that remains unpainted

Is this a trick Question ? though the mountain has reduced a bit in the last 3 months

* Been to a wargamers show

I have been to many over the years, I look forward to them now!

* Have more dice than is logical or necessary to own – and have used most of them

Yeah... I have even bought themed dice for certain games.

* Have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your mates 

Bragging is not my thing, I take things if asked.

* You have reference books on each period / army you play

I have more reference books than rule books and for periods I don't play as well part of being immersed in the hobby fully

* Having played so many different games you confidently quote rules for a totally different period, scale or ruleset to the one you’re playing at that moment

Shall we skip this one, old age catches me and I often get the rules for some games confused.

* You have lied to your partner / spouse about how much you’ve spent on the hobby

I don't need too my wife controls the finances so it would be a futile effort and she knows me so well too.

* You get genuinely excited when a package arrives in the post – then hide it upstairs quickly before your partner sees it.  If your partner finds it first, you lie about the contents.

 I dont get so excited now ( well not to much ) as to hiding my wife does not have a problem with my addiction.

* You have joined a re-enactment society (5 points for this one!)

Yes many years ago.

* You have played in an unsuitable venue.

Oh the list of these is endless, but a tin scout hut in winter that had no heating has to be the worst one.

* You continue to search for the perfect Napoleonic / WW2 / Ancients / ACW etc. rule set (knowing that it doesn’t actually exist).

Happy with the rules we use and do not have plans to search for any alternatives now.

* For that reason you have developed your own house rules for certain periods.  And think them far superior to the original author’s efforts.

We have some house rules to add a bit of character to some periods.

* You have returned from a wargames show and sneaked upstairs to hide the stash.

No but I have had the wrath of SWMBO one year when I came home with 4 books for just shy of £1000.00

* You have an irrational aversion to some genres and vow never to play them regardless of how much fun they look. Like Dystopian Wars, 6mm Napoleonics, Warhammer 40k, Malifaux etc.

If it ain't historical I am not very interested or tempted often to play. Though I do like to paint the figures.

* You have made your own wargames scenery.

I have made lots of terrain and scenery

* You have reached a painting ‘wall’ (“If I have to paint another f________ Gaul, I’m going to scream”)

Last year it was Vikings..... This year its Nubians........ We all hit the walls at various stages on a lrge project

* You have lost – and regained – your wargaming mojo.

Twice so far but I enjoy it so keep returning to the hobby, I have never stopped painting figures though.

* You have the occasional (and short lived) sense of guilt with your wife/children when complaining to them about the money spent in clothes, shoes or toys/Xbox games when you have £200 of unpainted metal stuffed in an upstairs drawer.

Nope, I spend what I can afford and don't begrudge the family their pleasures

* You have done armies in different scales for the same period (e.g. ACW in 28mm, 15mm and 6mm).

Yes, ACW, Napoleonics, Biblicals etc etc

* You have jealously coveted someone else’s troops.

Not really. I like my own style of painting.

* You have laughed (secretly or otherwise) as someone else’s paint job.

I really try not to do this.  I realise painting is not everyone's cup of tea I would rather see a poorly painted figure than no paint at all. However I did howl when I saw a unit of Khaki horses

* You have provided a piece of useless trivia relating to the troops on the table to show off your wargaming knowledge.

I am full of that sort of stuff but tend not to, though will if asked.

* You have contradicted someone elses’ trivia – demonstrating your superior knowledge and giving you a warm glow inside.

I have done this to idiots in the past for being annoying. Especially when they dont know what they are really talking about

* You have caused a major disaster on a wargames table (spilling a pint, collapsing the table, dropped someone else’s figures on the floor).

No major ones, there have been some minor ones like the pike block I had embedded in my arm that lost a few pikes on extraction.

* You have cheered when an opponent’s dice lets them down at a critical point.

Yes, but only with good friends who I know would do the same to me.

* You have lied to your partner about going gaming.  “Mothers’ not very well – just popping around to see her.  I’ll be back in about – oh – seven hours”.

No... seriously why would I need too.

* You have lied to an attractive woman (man) about your hobby.

Nope. I am happy to be a wargamer

* You have made an opponent cry.  It doesn’t count if they are under 8 years old though.

Not that I know of.

* You have painted the same army in the same scale more than once.

Yes without doubt AWI and FIW spring to mind as the most recent

* You have reference books on armies you haven’t even got.

Oh yes, many many books. That is my Achilles heel

* You have bought figures for a period you have never and will never play – because they were cheap.

No, but I have bought figures I will never use just for the pleasure of painting them

* You have inflicted grievous bodily harm on a dice that has let you down.

Cremated a few of these buggers in my time.

* You blog or have a web-page about your Wargaming activities

Yes I blog a little I believe

* Your book collection is almost all war and wargames related

over 90% I would say

* You critique ‘war’ movies (especially Hollywood war movies) for historical accuracy (like the use of American tanks – Pershings I think - to represent German Panzers in the ‘Battle of the Bulge’.)

All historical movies have inaccuracies, I tend to kick back and enjoy the film rather than worry about the trivial details, I leave that sort of thing to the button counters in life.

* You spend car / train journeys checking out the lie of the land – considering which way you would attack from and whether it would make good wargaming terrain.

I have done this from time to time, and even taken photos to refer to later but mainly for making scenery purposes..

* Sliced the end of your finger while prepping figures.

I have the scars to prove it!

* Shaking a bottle of paint you used earlier but did not put the lid back on properly (the khaki, red and black stains on the carpet and walls around my painting desk are testament to this).

Oh yeah... several times 

* Knocked over a pot of paint while painting (and desperately trying to scrape it back into the pot)

Who hasn't?

* Dropped a part while gluing it to never find it again (I’m sure there’s a gremlin hiding under my table)

Yes and ended up sculpting a replacment

* Dropped a figure / model while painting it – and breaking it.

Maybe once or twice.

* Dropped a figure when painting and lost it (this happens so much with my 6mm figures!)

No I dont paint small stuff

* Spilled paint on the floor and blamed the kids / dog / ghost / Santa


* Claimed a ‘cocky dice’ when it shows a ’1′ and happens to be touching a model or piece of scenery.

No, I play fair

* Claimed your opponents dice to be cocky when it shows a ’6′ – as it touched a crease of the cloth, rolled onto a piece of paper etc.

Again a No 

* Bought a dice tower – then gave up using it.

Oh the feckin noise drives me mad

* Made your own dice tower (Oh yeah!)

Had one laser cut never used it after one game due to the noise

* Gone to move some figures and found some Macedonian Pike / British Napoleonics etc. stuck in the sleeve of your jumper

Yep, I have done this many a time

* Put some polystyrene cement on insulation foam – just to see what it does

I know what it does.

* Glued your fingers together with Superglue

Yes and my mouth to my finger, and a few other mishaps

* Left a paint lid open overnight (“Noooooooooooooooo”)

Yeah, maybe a couple of times.

* Filed or cut a bit of ‘flash’ off a figure only to find that it was supposed to be there

Hell Yeah. Usually I can sculpt it back on if it's important.

* Painted Gauls or other ‘colourful’ troops in football / sporting colours


* Used noxious chemicals to strip paint off figures – without adhering to ANY of the safety guidelines

Does varnish count :D

* Dreamed of converting your lounge / dining room / garage / bedroom into a games room.


* Converted your lounge / dining room / garage / bedroom into a games room

Yes! I am lucky enough to have a Man Cave in my house. I cant get a table in there So have a purpose built workshop for that

* Bought paint at a show – and found you already had a full pot of the same paint when you got home

No I tend to do a list for paints

* Bought a tool especially for modelling – and never used it.


Well I think that qualifies me as either a proper wargamer or a certifiable fool !!!

So how about you ?


  1. My that's a big'un (as the actress said to the Bishop)!

    Uncomfortably honest answers which is something to be proud of. How about me? I'll stick it on my blog - ought to post SOMETHING :O(

    1. I am happy to have been honest. After all we are all prone too the odd mishap

  2. Replies
    1. Looking forward to reading your answers

  3. Bit to many to answer for my liking especially if the SWMBO is looking over the shoulder. Great reat. Loving the new banner.

    1. Nothing ventured nothing gained Simon

  4. Jesus, good one, I especially like the four books for a thousand pounds!

    1. Me too. They must have been made of pure gold ^^

    2. Oh yes, you've got to tell us more about that!

    3. 4 first edition copies of Eltings Napoleonic uniforms that were still sealed, they feckin well aint now books are for reading.

  5. I'll have to check my blog, I think I've already done one of these or something very similar anyway.

  6. I did this back in 2012 but they've added some more questions since then.

    My answers are here:


    and here


  7. Damn, that's quite a quiz. Clearly, you're a Top Shelf wargamer!

  8. Haha. That was hilarious. I had to have a go too...

    1. yours was also entertaining and strikingly similar

  9. My weakness is a charity shop in Darlington that sells reference and non-fiction books for next to nowt. I've come out of there on occasions with that many history books I've suffered the silent treatment all the way home :D I won't mention the 50p novels or the 1p dvds from Amazon.

  10. Yes my buddy Kev always spots bargain in charity shops

  11. Very funny and indeed you are a true wargamer. I did this awhile back, but it seems they added more questions now.


  12. This was fun to read. I like that even though you lost your mojo, you got it back. Very cool, but for me, the best if your wife. She is a understanding woman. Very very cool.


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