5 November 2014

Damn Bad Juju or Voodoo Hoodoo ? One very long post with odd rant included !!

Well one thing is certain I comply fully with the definition of obstinate and those that know me will confirm this to be true. I can also be cantankerous and belligerent at times which causes problems obviously. While I might resolutely be dogged in my determination to do things without any extra help. Things got a lot worse so Loki finally relented and has been seeing the local witch doctor, the one that can read your thoughts and confirm you are nuts, make you talk about it and shove a load more pills to swallow daily at you.

However all is not that bad once you break the fear factor involved and slowly over the last couple of weeks my head has started to engage again and focus. There are many contributing factors to this, and not least the many words of encouragement I have received from fellow bloggers. Despite my distinct lack of posting and usual levels of activity I have received many offers of help and enquiries as to my well being. Begrudgingly I have to hand some credit to the witch doctor too, despite the first couple of chats not being very productive, mostly because I did not want to talk, things have started improving. I have started picking up from where it appears my life left off several months ago and although I am miles behind from where I should be, one will get everything finished eventually. Well thats the current plan barring any more idiot spanners in the works.

Cor blimey, I even had a first recently and had to swallow a huge chunk of pride this week and fall on my own sword, I have been working on those F***in Baker Company Winter War figures for what seems like forever. I have never failed to hit a target or complete a project, but then again trying to make a silk purse from shit is harder than doing it from a sows ear. Trust me I know, poor quality metal meant half of the one legged buggers snapped and required pinning, of course you don't find this out till you are half way through painting them. Top that off with a healthy dose of almost finished and the man cave collapse happened ruining half the paint jobs so, I stripped and restarted them. Then the funk got worse and no matter how many times they were on my bench they spent longer off it. I have learnt a lot from this experience though and as a result I will never paint a World War 2 figure ever again in my life. Don't even tempt a joke of asking me to paint anything from Baker company, unless you can afford the medical bill for having them removed from your anal cavity because that's where I will tell you to shove them should you try ;)

I cant get enthused about ranks of dull grey, brown or green in varying shades of dirge. Try as I might I pushed on and despite Kevin offering to step in and take over I doggedly hung in like a Lurcher chasing a Hare. The Hare had a lot more stamina in this case and Kevin seeing that things were not improving offered several more times and again I hung in there. What changed was several conversations with said witch doctor and the wife who both concluded that because of my illness, I actually do not know how to refuse anyone at all, without feeling bad about it! ( I can not disagree with the logic ) so I always agree to do things even if I wont enjoy it, for fear of upsetting somebody.

Well no more mister nice guy from me then, yeah right like I can instantly change something that is deeply programmed in my mind like that. It is a skill I am going to have to learn and if someone dislikes the fact I don't want to paint figures for them it is actually there problem and not mine. So Loki is learning and has decided that he will not paint WW2 figures for anyone regardless of the money. You see money is not everything and again is the cause of other problems, we all experience money worries from time to time but couple that with a bad head and it becomes a one way trip to planet doom and gloom. Okay so I cant live without the stuff but I can live without it being the main reason for taking something on that I will get no pleasure from painting. So Kevin once again offered to take over this week and I relented and have packed the final few figures off to him this morning and boy what a relief for me. I can now get round to all the other bits I have agreed to paint knowing that I will at least enjoy them. All I can say for now is if you have been unfortunate in making a purchase of these then for god sake get your money back!!

Improvements in my mind have also been inspired by the decision to go back to 15mm for Napoleonic gaming, so I have been painting up the last few 28mm figures I have laying around and dispatching them Via Ebay. I acquired a good Russian Army of AB miniatures and have been reading and researching a lot on this subject, now we have more availability to us due to Russian documents and archive materials being available lots of assumptions have been dispelled and replaced with fact. The Russians will appear shortly in a more elaborate post. Of course it has not stopped there as I am now building armies for several countries that featured in the conflict over the coming years. I will document progress through the blog. Combine this with a new approach to work and things are coming back together and I know I will be sailing on an even keel again soon.

I announced that I was not taking part in this years challenge and although I had requests to set a small target and join the fun, I have to refuse. When you have a mind like mine it would be reckless for me to even contemplate such a scheme, as it would be all consuming, overtake and possibly ruin any progress I have made thus far. I will watch it with keen eyes and enjoy all the wonders the event holds but for my sanity I am sure you will agree I have made the right choice for me at present.

Finally several of you have figures with me and I appreciate the fact none of you have harassed me to complete them, a true sign of you all understanding that I have not been all there. I can assure you all, that I have no problem painting these and they will all be completed in due course, I would just ask you all to bear with me at the moment as I haul my brain fully into normality so I can ensure you get the best of what I am capable of.

I am going to undertake a small re-working of this blog and shift a few bits around, one of those will be Warbases Wednesday which shall be occupying a new weekend slot, the first of which will appear this weekend. I am going to hopefully be posting more regularly with projects and gaming during the week in future and runes willing I will soon have the blog back to its old self.

Well sorry for the off load from my head, I am going to get back to painting a nice Regiment from Berg and leave you all in peace. Thanks for reading
Loki




25 comments:

  1. Welcome back bud.
    oh!
    The baker stuff really is awful

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  2. Warbases Weekend sound well better then Warbases Wednesday mate and I am glad that you are alive and kicking and back in the old seat.

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  3. Welcome back. Just remember not to push yourself and not to do anything you don't enjoy. You will be missed on the Challenge, but we all understand the reason for your absence and wish you well.

    luv & huggz

    Tamsin

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  4. Glad to hear life's improving Loki. All the best.

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  5. It sounds as if you are moving forward. Good!

    This story sounds terribly familiar. I well remember the feeling of having jobs to do that I just couldn't face, but at the same time couldn't let go of them. It's a terrible situation, that only pulls you further into the abyss.

    Moving on the the new scale and Nappys sounds like a good idea. Spend some time on something you enjoy.

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  6. That is a wonderfully candid post. I also think you are right, in terms of painting you have to do stuff you like, not jus,t money earning WW2.. Ain't worth the pain.

    I have an AWI unit sitting staring at me for 2 odd years I promised to do for someone.. When I pick it up , I drop my brushes on everything. So I understand that feeling.

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  7. Great post. Those Baker Bozo figures sound like a nightmare and it must have been a weight off your shoulders to be rid of them. Paint what you enjoy and it will only yield good results.
    cheers

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  8. Welcome back, Sir!
    One foot in front of the other! I do get worried when you, Ray, Fran, and Anne drop off the blogverse...of course my blog is certainly in dire need of posts! ;)

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  9. I'm glad things are looking up. It's much harder to seek, and accept, help than it is to tell someone else they need it. I'm also glad to hear you're coming around to understanding some of the source of your discontent. Good luck!

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  10. Gosh - I get so busy eyeing all of those little warriors, I forget just how accomplished you are as a writer. What a terrific rant!! Sally forth - pip pip & all that!!!

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  11. Very candid of you and quite brave to speak your mind I think. Taking on a commission when you utterly despise the figures isn't a good idea. You're right, money is one thing but peace of mind is more important.

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  12. Fantastic rant, good on you for speaking your mind. Really glad to hear you're on the up, slowly but surely, and I admire your fighting spirit. Looking forward to hearing more about the Russians too :-)

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  13. Hi Andrew,

    it's good to have you back chap!
    Your post sounds positive and full of energy. Excellent! I'm sure that you'll tackle those tiny points without problems. I'm looking forward to seeing the changes on the blog and you next figures be they 28mm or 15mm. Who cares they'll be stunning as usual. And by the way actually everyday is good for Warbases previews, especially weekends.

    Cheers
    Stefan

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  14. Just post and work on your terms mate, anything else is good for no one

    Ian

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  15. I have a shitload of the Baker stuff. Works fine for my purpose:paint them "good enough" and get them on the table. Trying to paint them to a "I am a pro, this is what I can do" level must have been a nightmare!
    Keep talking to the witch doc and keep talking to us, your loyal readers, and things will work out, or at least remain bearable, which is all anyone can really ask for.

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  16. Welcome back.

    I sort of recognise where you are at... I love playing WW2 but it's boring to paint 50 shades of brown... but I love painting german tanks with all their funky camo... and hate shermans with their impossible to get right shade of olive drab... so that's why I also paint Orks... Shadows of Brimstone... Chaos... Regular Fantasy... you name it. But I could never paint for money, because it would take all the fun out of it, I hate deadlines. That's too much like work for me.

    So paint what you like. And blog what you like. The moment the blog feels like an obligation I just don't blog and only paint. I will pick it up later.

    Take care.

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  17. Welcome back and good that things are going better!

    And I feel your pain with the Baker Company rubbish. Definately the worst pieces of s**t that I've ever had the pleasure of painting. And I've yet to even receive anything other than the first wave...

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  18. Glad to read that you are on the up Andrew. I really believe in painting what you like, you have to enjoy what you are doing!

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  19. Andrew, when reading your posts about your health problems I recognise and fully understand where you're coming from as I suffer near-enough all the same symptoms myself.

    I'm setting up a blog game for 2015 and have had to take a few days off from it, as the self-imposed workload had begun to build up to stressful levels and my head was beginning to lose clarity and purpose ... Read, I didn't know whether I was coming or going and had to have help from family to remember to do the most basic things.

    Stay healthy!
    Roy

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  20. That Ol' Black Dog Depression is a bugger when he gets off the leash. Good to see that you're taking positive action to get the mangy sod under control!

    So glad to see you back on the blogosphere; don't be a stranger!

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  21. Good read and good news, even what might seem bad on the face of it. A positive step and a positive post, so you're on the right track, I think.

    I think you're right about the 'Challenge' tough. God knows how Curt keeps up with things and I've no idea how the participants manage. They've all got my admiration.

    Shame about the Baker Co. stuff though. I have a load of thte original Vietnam figures from the Days when Adrian Deacon haad the business and they're very nice sculpts. Sad.

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  22. I'm pleased, really pleased that you are starting to find a way through all this Andrew. You are such an inspirational, generous and candid member of this blogging community and one I have the upmost respect for.

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  23. Hang in there, set the pace to what you want it to be. At least now you and I are painting the same scale in Napoleonics.

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  24. Blimey Andrew, I thought Loki was going to start biting his shield and turn into a beserker. Glad to hear you are starting to sort yourself out and wish you a speedy recovery.
    Thanks for the heads up with Baker Company.

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  25. Did I write all this post? I certainly have the same thoughts. And I know how hard it is to say NO! I am not sure I could have said it all out loud as you have done. But that does not mean I do not share your thoughts. (I do).

    Welcome back to the fray. Anything you need I am an email away. Take care chum.

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